Living the Gift

A Family
Support Program
by
Susan Rosano

Living the Gift
A Family Support Program

THIS BOOK IS ABOUT the life of Christian J. Grimaldi (above), a child with special needs, his Mom, brothers and the difficulties they encountered in their daily lives. The book discusses the common dilemmas that families of children with special needs face, solutions to those problems and ideas to work through difficulties as they present themselves... going from challenge to joy. 

Here are some of the common "dilemmas" discussed in the book:
1. An Unexpected Future: We don't know where we are headed
2. Uncertainty: There is something wrong with our child
3. Being Understood: We have to explain all the time
4. Family Balance: We have increased demands on our family
5. Normalcy: We are not a "typical" family
6. Personal Space: We have no privacy
7. Comparison: Our child is not like other children
8. Empowerment: We are feeling victimized by our circumstances

 Buy your copy now !! 
 

 For more information on this book and program, contact

Susan E. Rosano at Email: suzydraw@aol.com

For a sample story from the book, scroll down to the bottom of the page and read

The Living the Gift program is based on “Common Family Dilemmas," which are typical difficulties experiencied by families raising children with special health care and developmental needs. The concept of “Common Family Dilemmas” comes from the research of Andrew Miser, Ph.D. while he was a practicing marriage and family therapist, working with many parents of children with special health care and developmental needs. In his work with these families, Dr. Miser noticed that there were many similarities among family stories relating to their difficulties raising children with special needs . Dr. Miser collected data from these sessions and came up with eight “Common Family Dilemmas” which are discussed in this training. The transformation of these dilemmas to a better family life was something that Dr. Miser and Ms. Rosano have worked on together with families, caregivers and special education professionals for many years. The ideas and suggestions to help with these common dilemmas are explained, discussed and learned through exercises presented in the training. The “Family Dilemmas” paper handed out at each training, are printed as written in the paper “Transforming Common Family Dilemmas” by Andrew Miser, PhD and Susan Rosano, MA. 

This program was known as "Transforming Common Family Dilemmas" and with some new additions to it's content, the name has been changed. It has been presented by the Massachusetts Early Intervention Conference, Board of Education Services for the Blind Northeastern  and State of Connecticut Conferences, Special Education Resource Center of Connecticut (SERC), THOM of Massachusetts, SARAH, Inc. of Connecticut, AdCare Educational Institute of Worcester, Massachusetts, and many other Northeastern venues.
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Creative Meal Times Program

One hour lecture talking about the use of Expressive Arts Therapy to help children with feeding problems. Using dance & movement, visual art and music, a series of exercises are discussed to use before meal time to prepare children who have sensory issues for the family dinner table. 
Contact Susan to book this program at suzydraw@aol.com 
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  Day in the Life of Chris


A one hour slide program that documents a day in the life of a special needs child. This program talks about the value of children with special needs to our society, what they give to our culture and their value in the classroom. Contact Susan to book this program at suzydraw@aol.com 

                                                         The Paper Heart
It was a dark, cold, gloomy March afternoon.  I was feeling sad and stressed.  I decided to go to the consignment store to work away some of my blues. This is a fun little habit I have developed over the years.  Consignment stores always bring forth great distraction and take me far away from my daily routine. It’s a modern day expedition through someone else’s closet. Well, many people’s closets. For me, it’s a place to go to take my mind off all my troubles and be visually entertained by so many colorful, fun things. 

On this day, in order to go out, I had to take my son Christian with me. Not the best form of consignment shopping, but there was no other choice. Christian is my youngest son who was born with special needs. He was diagnosed with cerebral palsy, autism, cortical vision impairment, a feeding disorder and immune deficiency. In other words, he is unable to walk, talk, see well, chew food in a typical manner and is sick with colds, rashes and ear infections on a regular basis. He is a loving, happy, sweet child who hardly ever cries, but loves to tease his family and create mischief.

 When Chris was in preschool, he was extremely demanding of my time and physical efforts. He typically didn’t stay still until he was sound asleep and he never, ever slept all night. Instead, Chris would wake up in the middle of the night, happy and ready to play. Once awake, he would get into things around the house he shouldn’t have been touching. This was never fun for me in the wee hours of the morning. I spent many days sleep deprived, struggling through work, only to return home to finish off the day exhausted as I make dinner for my other two boys, as well as Chris, and keep the house running smoothly.

At this time, I was a single Mom and taking breaks from my daily routine was mandatory; I needed the distraction of the consignment store. So off we went. I packed the carriage for Chris to play in while I shopped. I brought a couple of favorite toys to keep him busy so he would not grab tags hanging down from   clothing on the racks and stick them in his mouth. We have been known to leave a wake of wet, slimy clothing tags behind as we shopped through the mall. I’m sure a few retail clerks were horrified to find fresh saliva on their lovely, expensive goods and price tags. Today, I also brought with me my “invisible wall of defense”  that said to other people “Yes, he’s a kid with special needs, and I don’t want to talk to you.”

Going to the store with Chris was always a real challenge for me. People stared. Children asked their parents questions about Chris in front of me. Sometimes they reacted with fear. Occasionally, people moved to another line from behind us at the checkout counter. They could not handle being near us and our blatant imperfection. I wondered sometimes if they were afraid they would “catch” his disability like the flu. At times, I felt very insulted. Other times, I could laugh about it. Sometimes, I cried. Why were people so ignorant? Why couldn’t Chris be just like every other child?  Instead, he was the subject of unconcealed observation and comment in a public forum. It created a feeling of hostility on my part; most of the time I was afraid to admit it.

On this trip to the consignment store, I was determined to go on my search for something beautiful with no interruptions. I was ready and equipped for all of Christian’s needs so he would be mellow, entertained in his carriage and relatively unnoticeable. We drove to the store, and got a good parking place. I popped the carriage into its working formation and Chris participated in his transition from car seat to the carriage easily. So far, things were going well. In we went to for my therapy! I start looking through the racks, dresses first, and then pants. The clothes are full of textures, hues and designs that massaged my tired attention span and help me to relax.

I tuned out the world and was feeling just fine. But wait. There was an older woman standing nearby and in the corner of my eye, I could see she was staring at Chris. I ignored her. She walked by us, still staring. I continued to ignore her as I pushed through the rack of blouses.  I went to the back of the store to the sale racks in my attempt to get away from her. I always enjoyed this area because there was the big possibility I could find just the right pair of pants on sale for fifty percent off. That’s half of $7.99. The best “finds” in the store. I started looking through the rack and there she was, staring at us again. I grumbled to myself, saying a few choice words. I wanted her to go away. But she was still there, stalking us. She must have walked by us at least ten times.

Finally, the woman approached us directly. She looked at me and said “Your son is beautiful.” Coldly, I said “Thank you.” She said “I wanted to give him a gift because he is such a beautiful child, but I didn’t know what to give him. I’ve been walking around the store trying to think of something to give him for a while now. All I have for him is this.” With a beautiful smile on her face, she handed me a piece of paper ripped into the shape of a heart that she had made from a page she took out of her address book. As I looked into her eyes, I felt that she had probably known a child like Chris before who perhaps was no longer with her, but was someone she had loved deeply. I first sensed and then knew that this gift from her heart was sincere and loving. It is, in fact, one of the best gifts I have ever received for Chris.